In my previous post, RB’s life lessons to revisit daily, I highlighted a few of RB’s life lessons that serendipitously resonated with me.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
So simple, so profound. The power of words truly amazes me.
Personally, I can live by this life lesson when “other people” refers to acquaintances and strangers, but it’s dawned on me that this “other people” encompasses even loved ones, anybody that’s not “you.” I’ve always cared deeply about how my family viewed me and valued my choices. Probably too much for my own good.
“You’re probably seeking their approval subconsciously,” he says, smiling at my frown. My husband knows me so well.
I really hate to admit it but there must be some truth to that. I guess we all seek approval from someone or validation from something. Mostly, I hate that I’ve allowed them so much power over me, family or not is beside the point; without this acceptance I can’t get beyond my search for approval.
What they think of me, what they think of us, is really none of my business. What a relief.
All my life, I’ve taken everything so personally, so deeply to heart. I’ve been draining my emotions on things that have nothing to do with me, only with them. They point their fingers, I carry the blame, burden myself by finding faults where there were none.
I feel empowered and I need to let it all out.
I own. I am in control. I take back my control. I won’t let others conveniently disrupt my peace of mind, and shove me back into their vicious cycle of self-righteousness. I won’t stand by the sidelines as they insult my integrity. I take offense. I am insulted. I have every right to be. I take a stand. I take back my right to be equal. We’ve perpetuated this power structure in our relationships and it stops now. No, I won’t go along with it. I won’t play along. I make my own rules, rules I value and live by. It’s who I am. It’s who I’m proud to be.
Nothing I do or say can change anyone else. Change can only happen in their own time, on their own terms. It’s really none of my business anyway. I can only wish them well and good luck. Of course, I love them and I’m always here for them unconditionally.
I give myself permission to stop seeking, to walk away.
Everything I need is here; within. My only business is me.